I had written this blogpost on the 14th of June - and ever since then, I have had some rough days...But that is another story altogether. To my dear readers - I am sorry I have neglected you. I will make a concerted effort to write to you more often from now on...
So I am turning 30 in a few weeks (I know, I know - I don't look it at all hehe)…I was asked thrice in one day by different women "so how do you feel about turning 30" and thought "oh gosh, it's just another birthday, I feel normal I guess"...but then it got me into my annual deppro state!
Every year just before my birthday ever since I became a conscious human being – I do what is called a “Balance Sheet Analysis” yes that’s very “accountant” of me, but I can’t help it. I automatically revert to analyzing the past year – what are the assets in my life – how to further invest in and maximize these, what has become a liability – how to eliminate these, etc. And in doing this little exercise, I generally get quite deppro and the actual excitement of my birthday only seeps in on the day of my birthday. Joy Killer! I bet I am not the only person who goes through this though…and especially when you are turning 30!
It annoys me so much that society continues to place so much pressure on women turning 30 – like; “why aren’t you married yet?” And I’m thinking “B*#@$ have you ANY clue what I have been through with some men?! Thank GOD I never married any one of them!”, or “when are you having kids?” As if I would want to mother kids alone – I grew up without a father, I will never put myself or my future children though that, or the most popular one: “ why haven’t you bought a place with your money yet?” Uhm, maybe because I am still working towards the place I really want, and don’t believe in constraining my cash flow with the burden of levies just for the sake of saying “I own a house” or better yet, many people tend to ask “why don’t you have your own business by now, I mean you could open an accounting practice” – this statement to me screams the most ignorance actually. It goes to show just how narrow some minds are…Yes I am an accountant, but I do credit risk on the daily, I think auditing or doing someone’s books is boring and quite frankly – I detest people who belittle my daily grind! Just because you work for yourself it doesn’t mean I’m not hustling out here. So until I figure out what my next step is – leave me alone. I mean, it’s not as if we don’t have enough that we our own issues and pressures to deal with on a daily basis…
Honestly, can I just say - in this day and age – there are no rules to life really – except – live it however you want! Leave my unconventional self to live my life my rules and focus on your own. I guess it stems from a society where a 45 year old woman’s success is apparently not as good as a 20 year old doing the same thing. Goodness – this absolutely annoys me. And don’t get me wrong – it is amazing that our youth is doing great things. But we hardly celebrate the older people’s successes alike.
The media often raves about how someone successfully accomplished something at a young age, we are bombarded with lists of “Top 25 under 25”, “Top 30 at 30” as if were I to accomplish the same feat or even more at a later stage in my life – that makes me less successful?! WTF?! Do you see any “Top 45 or 60 somethings’ lists circulating as much? In fact – I have never seen one, period. People of age are often celebrated at the end of their careers if they are lucky enough. What about the 40 year old who had a kid young but managed to become the country’s top neurosurgeon after so many attempts at an exam. Why is that not inspiring to us? The person who life dealt a really raw card at, but they kept persevering regardless. These are one of the things about society that peeve me, or as I usually say “grates my nipples” and social media seems to be making it worse. And anyone perpetuating this school of thought – I will just CTL-ALT-DLT you too. Life is hard enough, we are faced with daily challenges - internal battles, work deadlines, issues with family, finances, friends and other relationships, etc. we certainly don’t need any additional pressure from anyone or anything in this day and age.
So here’s my advice to you if you are turning 30 or any significant age for that matter - these are tools I have lived by that have brought me so much joy:
Be unconventional, live life your way.
Set some goals and smash them in your time! Make each day count towards your goals though.
Make no comparisons of your life to that of another person’s – remember what you see on social media is not everything a person’s life is made out to be. Stop comparing. Period. The only person you should be comparing yourself to is the person you were yesterday and the person you strive to become
Lastly, don't be too hard on yourself - life happens, the key is to just get back up and keep going no matter what.
Be kind to yourself! And make your happiness a priority above all else, no matter your age